honesty

"you've got a mail"

hello.

this is Dave.

it's always been Dave actually that wrote all these letters here, but i'm just wanna make sure that you know that this is the real Dave that share these random talks here. that does mean, i trust you, even i don't know who you are.

trusting someone you don't know was silly right? you don't even know that they could build either hurt you, but you still give your best to them. it was so silly.

just like trusting someone with all your heart, hoping that they will do the same to you, and if that was hard to follow, at least just appreciate that by taking these things seriously. see that as the greatest gift he could do, more than goods, money, even time that he could give.

human was not naturally born with honesty, we do have sin, wo sure had been broken. being honest needs effort. and should be trained. personally, i start with the little things, doing my tasks by myself, do tests by myself even i know i won't pass it, saying i'm late when i was late, even for the simplest thing like saying what my mind say even it would hurt somebody.

i was not perfect. i TRY my best to change. i was not good enough. i'm trying.

i'm just, silly.

choices

"you've got a mail!"

i see a small dot, on a white screen.

i try to get rid of it, but it turns out to be a line.

i try to hide it by adding another line, but it becomes a picture.

i try to hide it, but it already be messy.

i try to stop and get back. but i can't. i already choose to get rid of it.

you think you've passed it. you think you'll fix it. you think you have become consistent. you think it would turn out fine one day.

as soon as you realize, the snowball is coming for you.

run.

please don't b...egone

"you've got a mail!"

13.06 (calculating the time passed)

3 years, 8 months, 5 days had gone.
the last time i knew, i was sitting on that chair, and writing a mail to myself. a note. self reminder. never thought it will be the last before this.

i do live. i do died. inside. i do try new things. i do fail. i succeed. i learn new things. i gave love. i do receive betrayal. i dance. i sing. i run. so far and haven't come back. i do care. i do missing something. i start something. i learn. i got stuck. i end something. i cry. i laugh. i feel embarrassed. i do random things. i end up something. i fell. i stop. i found something. i trust. i do. and i realize,

i'll rise again.

you don't know how much you love it, until you lose it.
you don't know how much they care, until you  gone.

13.23 (setting up the alarm, making sure i'll be back)

davestevekandey